Battle of the Sexes: Hosted by Dorothy Parker

With her inspired wit and vivacious attitude, Dorothy Parker was the iconic satirical writer of her time- and of ours, as well. This, and more, made her a frontrunner in the writing of stories poking fun at the concepts of both masculinity and femininity. From her lighthearted tales of misunderstood lovers, to her darker pieces concerning the ignorance of an arbitrary gender, Ms. Parker had the sexes all figured out. Many of her stories embodied this type of gender criticism, but it was particularly shown in her short stories “The Sexes,” “You Were Perfectly Fine,” and “A Telephone Call.”

In “A Telephone Call,” a female obsesses over the fact that a man she has been seeing has not called her as he said he would. She overanalyzes every aspect of diction he might have enlightened her with, wondering, for instance, why he called her “darling” and hasn’t called, and if he perhaps meant that she should call him at five. This story is an excellent example of Parker’s “cool” handling of hilarious gender stereotypes. It exemplifies the over-thinking woman, and makes fun of her even further by pointing out that she even over thinks her over thinking. Parker, however, was a very direct person, one who would never wait by the phone for anyone.

In “You Were Perfectly Fine,” a hung-over young man asks the girl applying a cold compress to his face what had happened the night before. She replies that he was fine and was not as terrible- as in distastefully drunk- as he predicted. All along, the boy is cheerful, joking about his show the night before but still feeling the alcohol. However, the boy’s attitude changes suddenly when the girl mentions the long taxi ride the two of them took alone together. She does not let on much, as he swears he remembers it all, but she does tell him that he professed his love to her, and they are either engaged or became extremely close that night. She is clearly thrilled over their future together, while the young man is left terribly confused and anxious as to what that future might entail. “You Were Perfectly Fine” is a great example of Parker’s ability to see both the differences and similarities in men and women. The “couple” in this story both try to please each other, one excusing another’s inexcusable behavior, the other assuring her that he remembers their special time together. Woman’s stereotypical ability to jump-the-gun and assume things at random is well played out by Parker, as well as man’s stereotype of having a nonchalant outlook on life and women and how it eventually gets him in trouble.

Dorothy Parker’s most obvious case of gender criticism occurs in her tongue in cheek short story, “The Sexes.” The anecdote begins with a man and a woman sitting akwardly in an apartment. The woman, only when addressed by the man first, is overly polite and apologizes profusely over and over for things she obviously has not offended him with. The man takes the hint and knows that this is her way of letting him know he has done something wrong. This story superbly juxtaposes the way men and women talk to each other to get what they want. In this instance, the man wants to get back on the woman’s good side, and uses sweet-talk and compliments to get just that. The woman is fishing for compliments and wants an outrageously sweet apology from her man. Mrs. Parker explored how men can manipulate women with sweet talk, good looks and charm, and women can do it with wit, beauty, and a little nagging.

Out of all the Dorothy Parker stories I read, I would definitely recommend "Arrangement in Black and White." It is a partly funny partly disturbing take on racism at a high-end cocktail party in the 1920's. The ignorance portrayed is quite humorous as a young white woman contradicts herself over and over, abhorring racists, but all the while treating blacks differently herself. (MF)